Skyrim’s tiny head mod is a crime against the laws of god and man alike

There is but one acceptable way to deform a head, and this ain’t it.

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Skyrim were really fucked up? Just like disastrously so?

Now you can experience just such a thing, as the mod “Cursed Skyrim - Hold the Fuck Up” will give to you an experience of outrageously long-lived RPGThe Elder Scrolls V: Skyrimwhere everyone’s head is real small. It is—to be direct—a crime against the laws of gods and men alike.

I shouldn’t have to tell you, but big-head modes are the only righteous path for humankind. Heads should be large. They should not be tiny—and the creation of both tiny-head modes and modifications is illegal under the 1903 Geneva Conventions on Videogames.

This crime was created by unrepentant degenerate modder SpongebobHentaiSimulator and posted toNexusModson the 18th of November, 2022, evidence which will certainly be presented in the inevitable trial against the modder at The Hague for crimes against humanity. The description is simple: “Conflicts? Yes. Load order? Later. Compatibility? No.”

SpongebobHentaiSimulator did at the very least tag this mod “Not Lore-Friendly”—though let me be clear that this person has done an evil from which the collective psyche of mankind shall never recover.

I have included below a gallery evincing the absolute horror of this mod. Please, ask any children to leave the room, and do not partake if you are faint of heart. Do not venture forward until you have steeled yourself against this horror.

Hold the fuck up indeed.

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Jon Bolding is a games writer and critic with an extensive background in strategy games. When he’s not on his PC, he can be found playing every tabletop game under the sun.

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