Dungeons & Dragons Monopoly is a thing now, because of course it is

This is also not OK.

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There is no darker dungeon to be plumbed, no place further from the light of the Empyrean Gods, than, one sec, let me check my notes. Ah, yes: Capitalism. Thus the adventuring heroes of Dungeons & Dragons dive into the world of Monopoly, becauseMonopoly: Dungeons & Dragonsis a thing you can buy now.

Thusly the fine people at Usaopoly continue their quixotic quest, their crusade, their maddened drunken rampage across all of pop culture to turn every conceivable thing into Monopoly. (Seriously, recent examples include Hello Kitty, South Park, Dragon Ball Super, and TV drama series Yellowstone.) To an extent, I guess, the D&D mashup makes some sense.

Here is the description:

“Heed the call to capture monsters from across the Forgotten Realms in MONOPOLY: Dungeons & Dragons! Buy, sell, and trade traditional and modern iconic and deadly monsters like the Beholder, Storm Giant, and infamous Demogorgon to nerf the competition.”

Overall, that’s very much an ill-conceived idea, to me. How the hell are you supposed to buy and trade a demon lord?  Do you build a hotel on the Tarrasque, or like, rent it out for birthday parties? Whatever. As usual, the other things they come up with as trade dress are pretty cute. The Railroads are instead dungeons, for example. The adventurer figures are all cast pewter types, which is wonderfully appropriate given the history of miniatures in tabletop roleplaying.

If this rant sounds like a broken record it’s because I was similarly set off by the advent ofWarhammer 40,000 Monopolyback in 2018. It’s not all bad, to be clear. Despite my distaste for their many licensed iterations of this one game that’s not the literal worst but also not very good, I do respect quite a bit of what Usaopoly, or The Op, produce.

You can purchase this abomination against sense and good tasteall manner of places, I’m sure.

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Jon Bolding is a games writer and critic with an extensive background in strategy games. When he’s not on his PC, he can be found playing every tabletop game under the sun.

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